But Not Hooper Humperdink: The Invitations

8 Jun

I don’t remember thinking about my wedding day when I was a little girl, but if I did, I was definitely imagining the party that little a-hole throws and invites everyone except Hooper Humperdink to in the children’s book Hooper Humperdink…? Not Him! by Dr. Seuss. That party was awesome. He ordered 10 tons of ice cream and had eskimos deliver it. Off the hizzook.

That kid probably sky-wrote his invitation from a plane. We didn’t quiiiiite get to that level, but we did make ’em ourselves so I thought I would show them off.

For the official even-if-you-really-piss-me-off-it’s-too-late-I-already-invited-you invitations, we went with the same theme from our Save the Dates: pretty flower stamps and Talking Heads lyrics. I think David Byrne would approve. For the front of the invitations, which were just blank white cards, we chose the lyric “feet on the ground, head in the sky”. I love that lyric and I think it’s a perfect mantra for a marriage and a life. Anyway, my fella stuck the letters on our stamp block and the stampin’ commenced!

So, we bought the cards from Paper Source, but I got all the rest of the paper AND the envelopes for $1.00 a pound! at Arts & Scraps, which saved us a verifiable buttload of cash. After we stamped the cards, we printed the inside of the invitations off of the computer. We folded the paper so that it would fit inside the cards, but before we did that, the hubs-to-be decided they looked a little dull and perhaps needed a color border, so we took the edges of the paper and pressed them (Carefully, Careful! We only have 3 extra!) on all of the different colored inkpads (we had about seven colors). Like-a this:

And the edges of the paper became this wonderful stack of Froot Loopy colors!:

(Sorry for the blurred out details, but I don’t want any stinky Hoopers at my party. And by Hoopers, I mean creepers. And by creepers, I mean people that look at blogs about weddings and think it means they’re invited.)

Now comes the part that made me lose the feeling in my index finger for a week. We inserted the folded paper into the cards, but we couldn’t just stick ’em in there or they would fall out. We could have stapled them…but we didn’t have staples. We had embroidery thread. So we decided that I would sew the paper into the cards using my super-special librarian bindery skills that I picked up when I worked at the Newberry Library in Chicago. Holla if you feel me fellow pamphlet binders!

Here’s how you do it. It’s really quite easy and painless if you’re not doing it 200 times in a row. In the latter case, it’s still easy… I whined enough to get a big bowl of popcorn out of the deal, though.

Step 1: Knot your thread and leave a long tail. Then poke a hole through the middle of the card, inside the crease, and pull it through, so that the knot is on the inside of the card.

Step 2: From the outside of the card (because that’s where your needle is now) poke another hole on the right-hand side of the card, still on the crease, and pull it through.

Step 3: Now your needle is back on the inside, like it’s in the slammer! Make another hole on the left side and pull that string through. Almost done!

Step 4: Last step. Your needle is on the outside now. It made bail. Find the original hole you made in the center and pull the needle back through that hole, careful not to get any other thread stuck up in there. Pull it all the way through. Then knot what string you have left with the tail.

I did it! In 4 easy steps! 200 times! Sorry right hand. It’s bad enough Left gets all the attention on the big day, but you’re going to be callused and formed into a perma-claw. Ok, so here’s how the beauties looked all bound and stacked:

Phew! We’re done right? No? RSVPs? Dang it. Thank goodness I could watch TV while doing this. That’s actually a requirement to become a craft on this blog. If you can’t watch Cheers reruns or get boozed up while you’re doing it, it’s not Thriftfulness material. Hubs-to-be did most of the work on this job. He printed the text and cut the paper. Alls I had to do was stamp and use what was left of the embroidery thread and my bloody finger stubs to tie the RSVP cards to the envelopes:

The only thing left after that was The Stuffin’ and The Mailin’. Of course, Barb the cat helped me out:

We are really happy with how they turned out and I hope you like them as well. We might not have 10 tons of eskimo ice cream, but this shindig is shaping up to be a real nice wedding. I still don’t think I’ll invite Hooper Humperdink, though. That book came out in 1976. If he was creepy when he was 8, imagine him in his 40s. I’m not taking my chances on that guy catching the garter.

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3 Responses to “But Not Hooper Humperdink: The Invitations”

  1. Mary June 11, 2011 at 2:58 pm #

    Ahh, pamphlet binding. That brought back memories. 🙂 Beautiful invites, Annie! I love them!

  2. Jocelyn Baldwin July 2, 2011 at 2:38 pm #

    Congratulations on the upcoming nuptuals, Annie! I hope the wedding goes superbly! Very smart of you to blur out the info on the invites, too. 🙂

    • anniee July 5, 2011 at 8:21 am #

      Thanks Jocelyn! You never know who’s into wedding crashing these days! Hee hee.

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