Bird Killa: The Barbara Ann Story

5 Apr

As any self-respecting lady of leisure (read: unemployed) would, I have become the recent owner of a cat. Her name is Barbara Ann. We call her Barb.

Barb grew up in a trailer park for cats just off of the express-way. At least, that’s where we found her. From what I can gather, her mother ditched family and friends to run off with a tom-cat who had briefly struck it rich while filing his claws on a lottery ticket that had fallen onto the sidewalk from someone’s pocket. Drifters like him seldom stick around and this tabby was no different. He was long gone by the time the litter arrived. Hearing he’d run off to California, Barb’s mother decided to name her new fatherless kittens after Beach Boys songs: Barbara Ann, Rhonda, Surfer Girl, Kokomo, and Good Vibrations, which held sort of a double meaning for Barb’s mom.

The gang fell onto hard times. Rhonda and Surfer Girl hung around with catnip dealers, Good Vibrations was turning out just like his father, and it seemed everything about Kokomo added up to a bad idea. Barb split with her brothers and sisters and somehow or another, she ended up in that trailer park, only seven months old, but already world weary.

Now, she lives, quite literally, in the lap of luxury.(That’s me pictured in the blue sweatsuit (read: unemployed)). And to make her life a little more plush, I decided to make some blankets for her to perch on while she watches birds, licks herself, and farts, which are her hobbies.

I made them from old fabric that I had picked up at garage sales or thrift stores over the years. Barb’s still just a girl from the block at heart, so I knew she wouldn’t mind. I cut out rectangles around the same size as her cat bed, pinned them together and double stitched them on the sewing machine them because I knew they’d have to hold up through a lot of washes.

Here are some pictures of Barb enjoying her activities on her blankets:

Bird Watching:


Straight up Loungin’:

The second blanket I made her says Bird Killa, because that’s what her old street nickname was. I think she resents it because, ever since the above picture, she pushes this blankie off of her cat bed and glares at me. I’m going to replace it with another one that says “Who Farted?” We’ll see who’s laughing then, Barb.

Though most cats prefer laps, they’l take a good blanket when they can get it. These blankets are cheap, quick and easy to make. They would make nice gifts for pet-owners in your life, if you’re the type of person who gets gifts for people’s pets.

If you can’t handle simple sewing, you could take an old box and make a Kitty Chaise Lounge like the guys over at EvilMadScientist:

This might be my next project for Barb. It says 40% Classy, 60% Trashy. And that’s our Barb, through and through.


4 Responses to “Bird Killa: The Barbara Ann Story”

  1. Karen Ketover April 11, 2011 at 12:27 pm #

    These are the 1st pics of Barb I have seen. I am VERY partial to Tabby Cats. Our remaining cat, Sophie, is #4 of Tabbies I have had. She was a ‘shelter’ cat, and has turned into a snuggle bunny. Give her a lap and she will curl up on it. Speaking of farting….Sophie does this as she leaves your lap. I’m not sure if this is some sort of propulsion system. She leaves a vapor trail that smells of a skunk, really, a skunk. Having a magazine handy is always a plus to wave off fumes. What the hell does that cat eat while we are at work to make a fart smell that bad and to be able to repeat that smell almost hourly. I’m hiding the pizza and beer, that’s all I can say!

  2. Karen Ketover April 11, 2011 at 12:28 pm #

    Crap, I forgot to mention that Barb has really nice markings and a great face. Of course she does, she’s a tabby.

    • anniee April 11, 2011 at 12:36 pm #

      She is a beaut isn’t she! She’s quite needy today. Every time I get up she meows at me until I sit back down. Barb wants me to take it easy.

  3. Karen Ketover April 11, 2011 at 2:15 pm #

    Sophie rests comfortably mostly on me. All my cats blankies are compliments of the airline industry:) She generally is wither on Uncle Jay or me, mostly me. I should think these comments through before I send. I keep thinking of stuff I didn’t say.

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