Cousin Jodie’s Crap Bag

1 Jul


My sweet, rosy cousin, Jodie, six weeks my elder, is always the hit of the family camping trip and it’s not even because of her infectious giggle or her grosser than gross nursing stories. No, it’s because of her Crap Bag.

This may sound like something she brought home from the hospital with her, but I assure you it’s not. Crap Bag is Cousin Jodie’s version of delicious “search n’ scarf” trail mix, made with whatever is lying around in her kitchen cupboards. She has two specialties: Salty Crap Bag and Sweet Crap Bag. Here is her recipe for Sweet Crap Bag:

“Okay, the recipe for crap bag is very simple. Step one, start off with teddy grahams and candy corn. The rest of crap bag is up to the chief. I personally enjoy some pretzels, M&M’s, any sweet crunchy stuff and popcorn.”

When I make my own versions, I like to challenge myself to not buy anything new. I find that most cereals of the un-flaky variety compliment a good Crap Bag. When I was young I used to heat up butter and red pepper flakes in the microwave and pour it over some IGA-brand “Rice Chex” (we were poor and I wasn’t allowed to use the oven) and I find this works as a tasty combo item. Popcorn is also a good filler*. Try not to go traditional peanuts & raisins. Someone will already be bringing those. Think Cheez-Its, spicy tater chips, Slim Jims chopped up, shredded coconut, cut up licorice sticks, and any chocolate that’s covered in some sort of protective candy shell to prevent melting (these are individual suggestions, I don’t want you to combine Slim Jims and Sixlets, gross).


Crap Bag makes a great contribution to days at the pool, bonfires, camping trips, and open road adventures. It’s a good gift to give to someone even if you’re not invited to any of those really fun activities as well.

*: Want to save $$? Instead of buying the pre-bagged microwave popcorn, buy the much cheaper and long-lasting bags of popcorn kernels and heat them up with oil (directions are on the back of the bag so you don’t get a hot-oil burn). It takes about two minutes, the same as microwave popcorn and the bag of kernels will last way longer than your six fake-butter flavored packets of corn.


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