If there’s anything I love more than my brand new husband…mmm, nope, there isn’t. Let’s say if there’s anything I love more than… buttered saltines, that’s pretty far up there.
Okay, if there’s anything I love more than buttered saltines, it’s awesome banners. I love the banner-worthy event that had to occur in order to necessitate a banner. I love how it takes two or more people to hang them (that’s cooperation!). I love the way that, in movies and television shows, half of the banner will fall down right after a character ruins a surprise party.
I don’t remember thinking about my wedding day when I was a little girl, but if I did, I was definitely imagining the party that little a-hole throws and invites everyone except Hooper Humperdink to in the children’s book Hooper Humperdink…? Not Him! by Dr. Seuss. That party was awesome. He ordered 10 tons of ice cream and had eskimos deliver it. Off the hizzook.
That kid probably sky-wrote his invitation from a plane. We didn’t quiiiiite get to that level, but we did make ‘em ourselves so I thought I would show them off.
Barb and I decided to start a book club with the thrifted books I come across. She’s mostly just a figurehead because she’s got so many other hobbies going on right now. Plus she’s illiterate.
I found this vintage pill case at a yard sale a few years ago. I love the flowered pattern on the front of the case and the trippy circles on the back:
It reminds me of something one of Don Draper’s girlfriends might carry around in her clutch. Of course it would probably be filled with some sort of barbiturate to be taken at martini o’clock whilst lounging on a fainting couch, but it’s still classy looking. Sort of.
As any self-respecting lady of leisure (read: unemployed) would, I have become the recent owner of a cat. Her name is Barbara Ann. We call her Barb.
Barb grew up in a trailer park for cats just off of the express-way. At least, that’s where we found her. From what I can gather, her mother ditched family and friends to run off with a tom-cat who had briefly struck it rich while filing his claws on a lottery ticket that had fallen onto the sidewalk from someone’s pocket. Drifters like him seldom stick around and this tabby was no different. He was long gone by the time the litter arrived. Hearing he’d run off to California, Barb’s mother decided to name her new fatherless kittens after Beach Boys songs: Barbara Ann, Rhonda, Surfer Girl, Kokomo, and Good Vibrations, which held sort of a double meaning for Barb’s mom.
Carrie with a query:
Q: I am a crafty design-lover in need of a creative and diplomatic home solution on the cheap! I am excited to be moving in with my boyfriend of one and a half years and as we prepare to merge our respective apartments I have run into a tricky dilemma. I have a deep love of antique thrifted furniture, books, hand-drawn illustrated art, and bright colors. The focal point of my sweet, geeky, Mac IT specialist boyfriend’s apartment is a hunter green microsuede couch that he proudly purchased at a contemporary furniture emporium.
I fell head over heels for him the day we met, so you could see why I want to make room for both of us in this new home we are creating together. How can I display his quirky collection of Comic-Con worthy knick knacks that include a few small Japanese-inspired stuffed animals, action figures, a toy rocket, Star Wars Lego ships, and a couple of other things I can’t even put a name to. Rather than demand he pitch his goofy collection I’m trying to be a good girlfriend and find a creative, delicious design solution. Any thoughts?
Fell for a Nerd
There’s an old Lorrie Morgan song called “War Paint” about (and this is just me attempting to interpret the many complex metaphors of this song) putting on makeup in order get back out “on the path” to pick up a new man. Battle preparation, getting ready for the bar, same thing really.
My own collection of war paint was outgrowing the travel-size carrying case I was holding it in. And we all know you can’t keep war paint locked away. If I wanted to be prepared for the war path (AKA, dinner date with my fiance), I was going to have to have my eyeliner at the ready. What I really needed was a Kaboodle, but I had given my last one of those away around the same time Lorrie Morgan married her fourth husband. What’s a warrior/girl to do?
Of the many many prestigious titles I hold (Domestic Macgyver, Queen of Sanford 2000, Person Who Knows a Surprisingly Large Amount of Information about B-List Actors), the one I’m most proud of is Favorite Aunt. Duties of Favorite Aunt include: rubbing your favored-ness in other aunt’s faces, keeping on top of Sponge Bob trivia, and providing awesome holiday gifts, the last of which, I’m going to discuss today.
Walking through the toy aisle during this time of year, it’s easy to fill your cart with big-faced dolls, computer games, and various movie-themed Lego sets. The problem is filling your wallet with the money to walk out of the store without getting tackled by a plain-clothed security card.
A girl can’t defer the student loan bill in the name of Bratz dolls. And she can’t spend Christmas hand-cuffed in the Target security office either. That’s why I’ve thought of some cheap but very thoughtful gift ideas for the little rugrats over the years. The following kiddie gifts are kid-tested and Favorite Aunt approved. Because I have 9 nieces and nephews and another one on the way, I’ve given ya’ll 10 ideas:
I know it’s jeeeeest about getting to panic time for the holiday season, at least for us craftsters who planned on hand-whittling the state birds for each second cousin this year. But if you could all take a moment to think back in time, to those days before you swore off the shopping mall after getting in a fist fight with your sister over Tickle Me Mickey or whatever that thing is; before you stopped speaking with your in-laws over holiday schedule disputes; before you got too drunk at the office Winter Festival party and embarassed yourself again. Way back to a day called Thanksgiving. Ah, weren’t things easier then?
I know that I’ve missed Talk Like A Pirate Day so stop your lily-livered yappin. Me thinks any day is sufficient for celebratin’ pirates.
I was inspired to make a pirate-themed gift for me land-lubbin’ mateys (the scally wags…) when I docked at the landlocked little gem of Detroit, Arts & Scraps.
Arts & Scraps is a hearty organization that takes donated recycled materials and uses them to help kids and grown-ups alike “think, create, and learn”. They make kits out of their scraps that kids can use to make wonderful art. They also throw birthday parties, hang student art up in their gallery, host field trips, AND have an entire fabric room stuffed to the gills with fabric. Well, shiver me timbers!!!!