Adventures of Robot & Bird:Holiday Ornaments Part 2

14 Dec

Turn around. Every now and then I get a little bit awesome at creating orname-eh-eh-ehnts. Turn around. Every now and then I get a little bit awesome at maaaking kickass glitter roBOTS! Turn around! Every now and then I go on k-razy binges and do nothing but make cool ornaments! TURN AROUND! Every now and I make a stuffed bird from felt and then I see the joy in my neice’s eyes!

Turn around, Santa.

EVERY NOW AND THEN I AM THE BEST!

Turn around, Martha.

EVERY NOW AND THEN I AM THE BEST!

Alright, we’re back with Holiday Ornaments: Part 2. I’m going to start off by letting you know that you shouldn’t be intimidated. You TOO can win at ornament-giving this holiday season, even if you lack the literally awe-some robot making skills I’ve attained. See the picture below:

The beauties above were made with store-bought ornaments that any old guy or gal can make when armed with a permanent marker and their trusty hot glue gun. The star ornament and the reindeer ornaments, I bought at a department store $1.50 or less each and then personalized with a silver Sharpie. The tow truck and the microphone I bought as wood pieces at a craft store, personalized and then hot-glued a yarn loop on the back. Bam. Ornament. So you see, even if you fail at most crafts and you are broke, you can still give a thoughtful and personal ornament as a gift this season. Feel better? Stopped crying? Ok, onto the real goods.

So I saw a catalog with a robot ornament in it, but it was like $15 or something. Whenever I see anything over $3.99, I stop and think: “Can I make this with crap I have at home?”. When it comes to lightbulbs, toiletpaper, and anything with sleeves, the answer is no. But robots? Uh, ye-eah.

First, I hastily made some cubes out of an old cereal box and duct-taped them together. Duct tape works well because it’s silver and will hide any glitter bald spots. If one is out of glitter (and again, one should probably never be out of glitter), one could simply duct tape the whole thing and be done with it.

After that, I poked some holes in my boxes and stuck some pipe cleaner in for legs and the requisite robot bolt-through-the-head, although now that I think of it, that’s Frankenstein….I hot glued around the holes afterward to secure them. On one of the robots, I put the legs in on the wrong side so they ended up one in front of the other. I just crossed them. Now it looks like he’s dancing or holding his robot pee.

Next, I painted Mod Podge all over those bad boyz (holding them by their pipe cleaner legs) and turned on the glitter fountain. I shook excess glitter off onto a paper plate and kept reusing it. For all my general untidiness and lack of follow-through, I am surprisingly adept at perfectly covering objects with the most conservative amount of glitter. I don’t waste a speck. If you know of any job openings for that, lemme know.

Finally, I hot-glued some robot-like sequins on there (I got a bag of about a million sequins for $3 and I plan on using them jeeeest about everywhere until they’re gone).

Here’s one of them on the tree (I hot-glued a pipe-cleaner loop for a hook), next to a wooden duck that my Grandpa Funke made. He was an original craftsmen. He cut the wood shapes and probably made the paint himself and dyed it with choke-cherries. My robot doesn’t come close to Grandpa’s skillz but they make a sweet looking duo anyway, I think. They’re not even aware they’re such a funny pair.

Wow, you’re probably saying. Did you finally stop making ornaments? Mister, you ain’t seen how often my siblings procreate. I had one little niece-y poo left to orna-fy and I was getting worried that my husband was going to start noticing that there was glitter stuck to everything, including Barb. So I switched to felt.

Hey lil’ bird! My niece’s name is Scarlett so I figured I would make her a scarlet bird instead of the scarlet A that I had originally planned. A for Aunt Annie, right? To make, I cut two bird-like shapes out of felt and two wing-like shapes. I sewed the wings onto each side, and embroidered some eyes and stars and what-not. Then, I stitched ‘er up and stuffed her with some stuffing I bought like 3 years ago when I decided I was going to make a lot of pillows and diiiiid not.

Dude, that bird is hung. On the tree. Lookin’ fierce.

Wull, I’d love to stay locked up pretending I’m an elf forever, but, alas, must go and eat some cereal. I hope you’ve enjoyed Holiday Ornaments Part 2 as much as I enjoy smelling my hot glue gun heat up. Happy tree trimming to you and yours!

3 Responses to “Adventures of Robot & Bird:Holiday Ornaments Part 2”

  1. Amy December 15, 2011 at 6:58 am #

    One of my favorite columns yet, except I really love them all! Nice!!

  2. Ange-with-the-green-eyes December 15, 2011 at 4:05 pm #

    Love it, Annie. You’re creative. Has anyone ever told you that before?

    • anniee December 15, 2011 at 4:10 pm #

      Ha! Yes, but I’m waiting for it to be followed by “…and here’s a check and/or PBS show.”

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